I really am a lucky guy. I live in a great area. My wife is smart, funny, and truly, stunningly beautiful both inside and outside. We're not rich, but we are financially very secure. We have some really great, fun friends who we see for dinner or go out with on weekends. Life is good, right?
It should be... but I still feel like something is missing. It's the friend thing. All of our friends, it seems, were Jenna's friends before they were my friends, and are women. Honestly, I was so busy over the past 5 years trying to make money that the friendship thing wasn't a top priority for me. Don't get me wrong, most of our friends (her friends) are wonderful and would do anything for her. The problem is, I feel like most of them have a very peculiar Southern California attitude. They are all very fit, work out all the time, and everyone is making pretty good money. They have the perfect SoCal blend of Narcissism and Hedonism. This results in a group of people who take pleasure in looking good and feeling good. Sounds perfect, doesn't it?
The strange thing is, they are all single! I swear, they are much more interested in dating guys than they are at all in settling down. I guess I'm just a good old country boy at heart, but some of these girls make me a bit uneasy. They have the same attitude towards men that some guys I knew in high school had toward women - "what can I get from him (her)?" Back home, the guys were interested in only one thing (sex), but these girls are interested in two things - how much money does he have, and how is the sex.
Like I said, these girls are all a lot of fun to hang around with, so I'm not complaining. Sometimes, though, I'm not sure that it's all that healthy for Jenna to be spending all her time with friends who are so materialistic. I just don't want her viewing our relationship in those terms.
Sunday, February 25, 2007
Sunday, February 18, 2007
Some of my issues
As I alluded a couple of days ago, I've hit some bumps in my life lately. Probably the biggest issue facing me right now is my loss of a job.
I am (used to be) a mortgage broker. I started in the mortgage business over5 years ago. At that time everyone told me I was crazy, the bubble had burst and the housing market was going down, fast. I didn't really listen to any of the naysayers, but I started focusing on what we call "subprime" borrowers. First of all, the payout was better, and second, I figured that if we really were in a recession that field would be the one that would expand.
Well, they say timing is everything and I had great timing on that. I started making money. Lots of money. More money than I ever expected. The market for subprime got stronger and stronger, and the lending standards became looser and looser. Things have been great for almost all of the 5+ years i've been in the business.
My wife, Jenna, came from money, her family has always had plenty of it. I, on the other hand, did not. I've got to tell you, I enjoyed all the nice things that all that money was giving us. Great cars, expensive dinners, Hawaii, Bermuda, Costa Rica! New clothes all the time. I really thought it would last forever. I enjoyed my life, and I mostly enjoyed my job.
Then about a year ago, the real estate party started to slow down. We had seen it slow before, and didn't think about it too much. But it didn't get better - it got worse. Last fall, things really started to get bad. Nothing was selling, and to make matters worse, the banks started getting picky on who they would lend to.
My company had geared up for big-time growth, and the business was shrinking. Heads started to roll. Fortunately, I was fairly senior by that point, and I was safe. Coming into work each day was painful, but at least I was working. Then in January, I got the news. I wasn't getting fired - the company was bust. We closed the doors for good and I was out of a job.
At this point, the entire industry is in big trouble. There are hundreds of people just like me, scrambling for a new job in an industry that is firing, not hiring. I'm pessimistic to say the least.
Fortunately, we are in good shape financially. We've saved some, and about 6 months ago Jenna inherited a lot of money in the form of a trust fund. It's funny, now she is the financial provider for us, not me. That takes some getting used to, for both of us.
I am (used to be) a mortgage broker. I started in the mortgage business over5 years ago. At that time everyone told me I was crazy, the bubble had burst and the housing market was going down, fast. I didn't really listen to any of the naysayers, but I started focusing on what we call "subprime" borrowers. First of all, the payout was better, and second, I figured that if we really were in a recession that field would be the one that would expand.
Well, they say timing is everything and I had great timing on that. I started making money. Lots of money. More money than I ever expected. The market for subprime got stronger and stronger, and the lending standards became looser and looser. Things have been great for almost all of the 5+ years i've been in the business.
My wife, Jenna, came from money, her family has always had plenty of it. I, on the other hand, did not. I've got to tell you, I enjoyed all the nice things that all that money was giving us. Great cars, expensive dinners, Hawaii, Bermuda, Costa Rica! New clothes all the time. I really thought it would last forever. I enjoyed my life, and I mostly enjoyed my job.
Then about a year ago, the real estate party started to slow down. We had seen it slow before, and didn't think about it too much. But it didn't get better - it got worse. Last fall, things really started to get bad. Nothing was selling, and to make matters worse, the banks started getting picky on who they would lend to.
My company had geared up for big-time growth, and the business was shrinking. Heads started to roll. Fortunately, I was fairly senior by that point, and I was safe. Coming into work each day was painful, but at least I was working. Then in January, I got the news. I wasn't getting fired - the company was bust. We closed the doors for good and I was out of a job.
At this point, the entire industry is in big trouble. There are hundreds of people just like me, scrambling for a new job in an industry that is firing, not hiring. I'm pessimistic to say the least.
Fortunately, we are in good shape financially. We've saved some, and about 6 months ago Jenna inherited a lot of money in the form of a trust fund. It's funny, now she is the financial provider for us, not me. That takes some getting used to, for both of us.
Friday, February 16, 2007
Spring Training
Living out here, the seasons all tend to blend together. There is one thing that always puts me into a spring frame of mind, however, and that is the start of spring training! The magical words "pitchers and catchers report to spring training today" gets me thinking about baseball again, and that gets me smiling. Bring on the boys of summer!
Monday, February 12, 2007
Why Blog?
What is the point of all this - why am I trying to post anything about my life online?
The truth of the matter is this: I'm going through a "transition period" right now, and I'm having some difficulty adjusting. One of my wife's good friends is counselor and was a psych major. I've had some good, long discussions with her about what is causing me all this angst and anxiety. She has been great, and one suggestion she kept making was that I start a blog journal. In it, I could regularly post about different issues that are troubling me. By "airing out" my concerns, I should be able to see them more clearly, and hence deal with them more effectively.
I'm a bit apprehensive about posting some of my personal issues online, but I'm willing to give it a try. "Baby steps" is her mantra, and that is what I'm going to do.
The truth of the matter is this: I'm going through a "transition period" right now, and I'm having some difficulty adjusting. One of my wife's good friends is counselor and was a psych major. I've had some good, long discussions with her about what is causing me all this angst and anxiety. She has been great, and one suggestion she kept making was that I start a blog journal. In it, I could regularly post about different issues that are troubling me. By "airing out" my concerns, I should be able to see them more clearly, and hence deal with them more effectively.
I'm a bit apprehensive about posting some of my personal issues online, but I'm willing to give it a try. "Baby steps" is her mantra, and that is what I'm going to do.
Friday, February 9, 2007
My Legs!
Holy s--t! I can barely walk. After mountain biking on Wednesday my legs are killing me - I can't believe what terrible shape I'm in. Well, this is a great opportunity to get myself together. Maybe I'll post updates on my training on this blog, to encourage me to follow through.
My fitness routines have always followed a depressingly familiar pattern: 1st 2 weeks - great! third or fourth week, maybe miss one or two days. 5th week get sick (or go on vacation, or pull a muscle, etc) and that's it - game over.
My wife is raving about a spinning class at her gym - maybe I should try that...
My fitness routines have always followed a depressingly familiar pattern: 1st 2 weeks - great! third or fourth week, maybe miss one or two days. 5th week get sick (or go on vacation, or pull a muscle, etc) and that's it - game over.
My wife is raving about a spinning class at her gym - maybe I should try that...
Wednesday, February 7, 2007
First Post
What a great day - we were out mountain biking in Chino Hills all afternoon. The sun was hot, the sky was blue, and there was almost no one else out there. There are times that I think you would have to be crazy to live anywhere else but Southern California.
You have good days and bad days, and this was definately a good day. My legs are already getting stiff from all the pumping. I don't think I'll have much trouble getting to sleep tonight!
You have good days and bad days, and this was definately a good day. My legs are already getting stiff from all the pumping. I don't think I'll have much trouble getting to sleep tonight!
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